Single :o)

Well, I'm single - AGAIN!

This past semester has been so full of shocks and surprises. I love it. I met very interesting people, but I also got a dose of people caring only about superficial aspects of life. I also learned about the process of addiction.

It's very interesting, my dad is a psychiatrist. His specialty is addictions and depression. He sent me a package in july. It contained copies of his 1991 typewriter written book on reactive depression and the impact it has on a global scale. He also attached a 10 page handwritten letter. I just left the packaged untouched. Never even read the letter. I was afraid of reading it, and I was entrapped in a relationship with an addict that was going nowhere, full of manipulations and justifications all the time. I was trapped.

Last sunday, when the relationship was reaching an unbearable level, I called my dad after three months of not speaking with him. The first thing he asked was if I had read his letter - not even his book. I said no. And as soon as I said no I realized what a big mistake I was making. I was giving my time to someone who was not able to process and respond to any communication... x - 5 = 10 .... And besides that had a self destructive personality. There I was talking to my dad, MY DAD! I had completely cut my communication with him because I was with a drunk pothead on xanax overdose? My dad, a brilliant man who absolutely adores me has always been there for me. And there I was, cutting my relationship with him because I knew the man I was with was in need of my dad's services and I was refusing to perform a reality check. Look! I had even stopped sharing my thoughts and images on my blog! And this is one of my favorite things!

This gave me the strength to go to this man's house in the evening, gather all my stuff and leave. I came HOME and read my dad's letter. It was amazing. What a brilliant mind. Ten pages where all he is saying is how much he misses me, how much I mean for him, and how much he loves me and is proud of me, plus give a brilliant synopsys of his book.

When you have someone like that in your life, a trully intelligent and caring person that you were destined to be with since birth, you realize how many things you take for granted in your life. The connection is there, has always been and will ever be even when either one of us will no longer physically be here.

I'm sorry Dad.